Ruby Wax’s new book ‘I’m Not as Well As I Thought I Was’ is typical of the famous comedian – a cracking read set at a frantic pace, where trauma, celebrity, pain, her struggles with mental health and her enduring and irrepressible comedic bent shine through.
‘It was just the most effective way of dealing with depression so I was OK with it. I don’t have a lot of fear’
It opens during her stay in a mental health clinic in 2022 where she is given rTMS (‘like speed dating but for neurones’), which sounds terrifying. Was she scared? “No nothing could go wrong. There are no side effects. It’s just the most effective way of dealing with depression so I was OK with it. I don’t have a lot of fear,” she says totally unfazed.
Aiming to dispel further myths surrounding mental health, Ruby will be at The Oxford Literary Festival on March 18 with Hard Times and Fearless Living alongside her friend the Buddhist monk, meditation teacher and author Gelong Thubten.
‘If you’re unpopular in school, don’t want to go home and an unpleasant child to look at, you learn to push the comedy buttons’
There she will discuss her new book, her experiences with mental health, and the recent whirlwind tour of her life from the depths of a monastery, to a month long silent meditation retreat in Sprit Rock, swimming with whales, and her travel documentary with Mel C ‘Trailblazers: A Rocky Mountain Road Trip‘, interspersed with celebrity anecdotes from her impressive TV career.
So how does she feel now about her rTMS treatment and the experience of being in the clinic. “I don’t remember it. It’s like giving birth. It’s a surprise when you have another one because you’d forgotten all about the last time,” she tells me.
‘I’m not so haunted by everything any more, so there were big returns’
So does Ruby think her frantic pace of life was the cause? “I study this all the time and nobody knows. I don’t think it has anything to do with it because stress makes you anxious not depressed, but I recognised the signs and knew it was time. Time for another one.”
So how is she? “I’m not so haunted by everything any more, so there were big returns,” she quips.
Always making a joke out of difficult situations is something Ruby’s psychiatrist tries to undo in the book, and yet Ruby’s sense of humour seems such an innate part of her personality.
“If you’re unpopular in school, don’t want to go home and are an unpleasant child to look at, you learn to push the comedy buttons. It’s a survival instinct,” she says, “and it worked, which is lucky because lots of people try to be funny.”
‘I think I just ask the right questions. I’m genuinely interested in people and I think they can tell that. Being funny on its own isn’t enough’
Ruby’s seismic career is well documented, the successful actress, comedian and TV presenter then taking herself on an educational voyage of discovery resulting in a master’s degree in mindfulness-based cognitive therapy from Oxford University, bestselling books, tours and her mental health campaigns, for which she was awarded an OBE.
Which would suggest it’s not luck at all that got her here but perseverance, ambition and sheer bloodymindedness. “Yes it has more to do with drive than talent; the ability to stick it out when everyone else has given up, and a willingness to take humiliation,” she adds.
It’s this head on approach and her refusal to kowtow to the ‘shame’ that often surrounds mental health, while injecting a serious dose of humour into her books and tours, that has endeared her to a new legion of fans.
‘it has more to do with drive than talent; the ability to stick it out when everyone else has given up, and a willingness to take humiliation’
“I think the audience figures that if I can do a mental striptease in front of them that they are not alone, and I think that’s really freeing. I enjoy the tours more than anything, more than TV. Making something dark funny is my favourite kind of comedy,” she explains.
So what is the key to her success? “I think I just ask the right questions. I’m genuinely interested in people and I think they can tell that. Being funny on its own isn’t enough.”
All of which will ensure that Hard Times and Fearless Living at The Sheldonian on March 18 will be as riveting as ever. So is Ruby excited to be coming back to Oxford? “I come back a lot, but I love it there, and It’s my favourite thing – telling people I went to Oxford.”
And with that she’s off to unpack from a recent trip to Costa Rica and prepare for her upcoming tour in May. Hard Times and Fearless Living indeed.
Ruby Wax and Gelong Thubten, chaired by Mick Brown, at The Sheldonian on Monday, March 18 at 2pm. BOOK HERE
Oxford Literary Festival runs from March 16-24. Further details here: https://oxfordliteraryfestival.org
